


Blue Iguana, Green Angel

by Ginger Jam (skylite), skylite



Category: Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-07 23:29:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skylite/pseuds/Ginger%20Jam, https://archiveofourown.org/users/skylite/pseuds/skylite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A losing bet turns into a winning night for Triathlon with a little help from the She-Hulk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Iguana, Green Angel

**Author's Note:**

> The recognizable characters appearing in this story are © 1997, 1998, 1999 2000 Marvel Comics, all rights reserved. They are used without permission, for entertainment purposes only. No profit is being made by Indigo for writing, or archiving this story. No infringement upon nor challenge to the rights of the copyright holders is intended; nor should any be inferred. This story may not be reproduced without permission.

Delroy swallowed hard and tugged self-consciously at the collar of his Hilfiger sweatshirt. ~This is the last time I am fool enough to make a bet with Wonder Man.~ The young man, known to the public as Triathlon, had met the Scarlet Witch's boyfriend after returning from South America. He patted nervously at his hair, and tried to ignore the trickle of sweat down his back as the line ahead of him moved slowly, inexorably forward.

Simon hadn't had the whole hangup about the Triune Understanding being the source of his power, and so the two had become fast friends...nearly as much as he had with She-Hulk. So when Simon had bet him, after hearing how good he'd done in the practice room against She-Hulk, that Delroy's triple-threat powers wouldn't be good enough to help him out in a decathlon againt Captain America --Delroy'd let pride get the better of him.

Three times the agility, speed, and strength didn't count for much, considering Captain America had three times the experience Delroy did. Cap, having not realized Simon had suckered the younger hero into a good-natured bet, offered to let him out of it. But Triathlon insisted on being a good loser. It had been his way of making up for the bad attitude and tacky racist remarks he'd been barbing at the rest of the current Avengers roster; he'd been a little miffed that he'd been asked aboard as a 'token' and a politically correct placation gesture. But between She-Hulk's attentions and some simple time, he'd gotten that chip off his shoulder and had determined to prove himself worthy of the slot on the Mightiest Team of heroes on earth.  
Besides, this was Captain America he'd been dissing if even indirectly. And the man had been nothing short of gracious to him during their practice session.

~This would probably be a lot easier if I drank,~ Delroy considered. Unfortunately, one of the side effects of his powers was that he was three times more susceptible to alcohol than the average Joe.

"Not losing your nerve, are you?" Simon asked, leaning casually against the wall beside Delroy as he waited, one arm slung affectionately around Wanda Maximoff.

"No, sir!" Delroy straightened and shook his head. "I'm going through with this, no matter what. A deal is a deal."

Simon grinned. "Good man." Simon too had offered to let Delroy out of the deal, when he'd seen the kid's uncomfortable reaction to what Wonder Man had claimed as the spoils of the victor. ~To be honest, I'm eager to see how he pulls it off.~

The rest of the Avengers, plus various hangers-on, were seated at a nearby table, expressions carefully neutral.

The line moved and Delroy found himself at the front position, steps in front of him. The harsh lights came up. He swallowed a nervous lump in his throat. ~Well, too late to back out. They gave you every chance. Do it up, man. Do it up.~

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the Blue Iguana Lounge's Karaoke Night proudly presents our next contestant -- DELROY GARRETT!"

Polite applause came from around the bar and restaurant area. The Avengers, however, applauded loudly, hooting and stomping their feet. The higher-spirited among them had chosen to attend as Triathlon paid off his bet. Janet Van Dyne and Hank Pym, Wanda, Simon, Jennifer, Angelica, Vance, and the visiting Clint Barton rounded out the table.

"I would like to dedicate this particular song to a lady who helped me remember that color doesn't really matter -- it's who you are inside and what you do to represent yourself that counts," Delroy stammered into the mike. "This song's for Jennifer Walters, otherwise known as She-Hulk."

The spotlight found the woman in question, who shamelessly stood up in her blue-sequined minidress and waved a muscular green arm at the crowd. There was much enthusiastic catcalling, and Jen blew kisses to the men from which they came. "Eat your hearts out, boys!" She then made a show of settling in comfortably with her Green Angel, having a sip, and waiting expectantly to be serenaded. "Hit it, Threeway!"

Delroy closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and the music began. The dot appeared on the screen before him, daring him to follow it without messing up.

The bass line gave him couple bars warning, and then he opened his mouth to sing in nothing short of an abominable baritone:

She's a BRICK! House!  
She's mighty mighty! Just lettin' it all hang out!  
She's a BRICK! House!  
The lady's stacked!  
That's a fact!  
Ain't holdin' nothin' back!  
Wanda's mouth dropped open in astonishment.

"Well, he certainly ain't three times better at singin'," Clint confided to no one in particular.

"Ouch," Simon winced. "I had no idea he'd be that bad."

Aww, she's a BRICK! House!  
She's mighty mighty! Just lettin' it all hang out!  
She's a BRICK! House!  
She's the one!  
The only one!  
Built like an Amazon!  
The She Hulk, however, had a handful of particular thoughts. Firstly, ~Guy's got a good eye. I'm flattered.~ Secondly, ~He's dying out there.~ Thirdly, ~I should do something about that since he is dying out there.~ She pushed out from her chair, sprang to her feet, and up over the tables to land on the stage beside him.

The way she moves her sexy way  
Makes an old man wish for younger days...  
Jennifer vamped for all she was worth --going from sexy come-hither poses to vampy muscle poses, and shimmying her shoulders against Delroy while he sang. As she hoped, he was so startled by her having decided to cheerfully play along that he forgot his nervousness.

His singing went from abominable to actually tolerable.

The way she look, she aim to please!  
Sure 'nough knock a strong man to his knees!  
Jen affected an innocent expression and kicked Delroy's legs out from under him, so he ended up on his knees as the lyric passed his lips. Delroy blinked, then grinned, and threw himself into his performance.

Shick-a-kow-shick-a-kow-shick-a-kow-now  
Shick-a-kow-shick-a-kow-shick-a-kow-now  
Shick-a-kow-shick-a-kow-shick-a-kow-now  
Shick-a-kow-shick-a-kow-shick-a-kow-now  
~She's up here with me on this stage, and she's not offended. I get to keep my head and other body parts intact!~ Relief loosened Delroy's nerves and tongue...and he began to get into it with a bit more gusto.

By the time he came to the end of the song, he was jamming right along with the tall green woman beside him, and having a good time. The audience applauded loudly.

"So who put you up to this?" Jen asked, as they returned to their table, breathless and a bit sweaty.

"I did," Delroy confessed. "I made a bet with Simon. Losing meant I came out to sing karaoke. I picked the song, though." His eyes dropped boyishly to the floor. "And who to sing it to."

"Awww, that's sweet." Jen gently punched him in the shoulder. Well, gently for *her.*

"You're the one who helped me get over myself," Delroy grinned up at her. "And besides, Shulkie, you may be the Long Green, but you are definitely, and most indisputably, a Brick House."

"And you, Triple-threat, are apparently three times more observant than the average dumb male." Jen grinned. "What say we blow this pop stand. You three times as good a dancer?"

"Three times as willing to try, anyway," Delroy replied.

Jen raised an eyebrow at the expression he gave her. "Can't argue that." She smacked Simon on the shoulder. "Guy's earned himself a bit of Jolly Green Hospitality. Can't recall being serenaded quite like that before."

Simon grinned behind his shades and snuggled Wanda closer to him. "You two kids have a good time."

"Remember your curfew," Clint teased, and got a wadded napkin thrown at him for his trouble.

* * * * *

Four hours later, Delroy was panting over his knees while the indefatigable, irrepressible, incorrigible Jade Giantess shook her groove thang to the Thong Song at the third nightclub of the evening. ~Apparently three times the stamina doesn't hold up against three times more enthusiasm,~ he admitted to himself ruefully. But he had to admit that even though he needed to catch his breath, he was having a great time. The Gamma Glamazon was known and welcomed wholeheartedly everyplace they'd been tonight, and she had had no problem posing with him when the flashbulbs began to pop. ~Headlines'll be interesting tomorrow.~

"C'mon. Don't tell me you're tired yet!" A green arm reached over the crowd, grabbed Delroy by his elbow, and hoisted him into the air.

* * *

By the approach of dawn's early light, they were walking up Central Park West, hand in hand. Shulkie was wearing Delroy's laughably small sport-coat on her shoulders, since he'd made the attempt at chivalry. ~He's even walking me home. That is so cute. His mama raised him right.~

"So, you gonna sing karaoke for me again next Friday night?" Jen inquired, one brow lifted in playful challenge.

"I suppose I could be persuaded," Delroy answered coyly. ~This has turned into a *date!*~ He paused. ~At least, I hope it has.~ "Don't know if I can find any more appropriate songs to serenade you with though. Aren't too many songs that describe a tall, gorgeous green woman." He paused thoughtfully. "Simply Irresistible might do it, though." He hummed a bar or two, thinking the lyrics over. ~That kinda love is mythical // the woman is invincible...~ He fell silent, blushing.

"Hey, quit tryin' so hard, Triple-snacks," Jennifer laughed. "I like you just fine. No need to kill yourself to impress me." She smiled down at him from the front door.

They had reached her apartment. Delroy found himself disappointed, but hid it as they took the elevator to her floor. He'd had the best time he could recall in many a year tonight, and was admittedly a little disappointed it was coming to an end.

"Well, here we are," he finally said softly to Jen, as she put her key in the door. "Glad you had a good time."

"Oh, I did," Jen assured him with a sultry smile, and turned to walk inside.

"Uh, Jen?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I have my sport coat back?"

Jen turned back to blink in astonishment at the forlorn young man hovering just beyond her doorway. "Yeah," she said, "After breakfast. I'm of a mind to see what else you're three times better at than the average guy."

Before Delroy could properly process that information, the She Hulk grabbed him by the collar, lifted him off his feet, and yanked him into her apartment.


End file.
